Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize