You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
