so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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