dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
