the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
