i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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