so that wasnt chicken after all
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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