At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
