Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
