So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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