umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
