Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
