your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
