Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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