I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
