Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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