I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
third nipple confirmed
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
