And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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