I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
And then my night got REAL pukey
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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