I'm jealous of your bromance
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
