I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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