I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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