He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
