thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize