I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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