I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
