my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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