Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
