coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
