I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
