Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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