hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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