fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
