i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize