Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
