what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
