I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
this is an emotional support booty call
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
