my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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