forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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