That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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