his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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