Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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