You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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