walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
