I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
do herpes really smell.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
