She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
