i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
