you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize