I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
