just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
