i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
