We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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