Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
