This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
