im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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