Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
