Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The power of my boobs compel you
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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