i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
