my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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