She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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