we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize