Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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