I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
