Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
