Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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