I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
