I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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