I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
