Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
